Step One

Hi
My Name is Billie
I am addicted to food.

I have been here so many times before and for this trip it is still necessary to begin with the beginning. The First Step, “I admit that I am powerless over food and my life has become unmanageable.”

It’s true. Over food, I am absolutely powerless. I quit smoking 30 years ago, cold turkey and never looked back. I drink occasionally, but alcohol has no sway over me. I might be the only person in America that has expired beer in the fridge. I was on Percocet for months and months. My doctor was concerned that I would become addicted to the pain killers until I told him I would rather have a double cheese burger. When the pain ended, I just stopped taking them. I think I still have 6 pills left in the bottle.

It is also true that my life is unmanageable and food is the biggest contributor. Food is the perfect partner for procrastination, poor discipline, “couch disease” and laziness; all afflictions of mine. I eat huge amounts of food, so much that I often have to lie down as I cannot keep my eyes open. I call it a “food coma.” If too many carbohydrates are involved, I will be groggy and have a killer headache when I awake. My stomach will be so full that I can barely move. It is the pathetic sight of an addict in full service to my addiction.

That addiction has controlled most of my life, kept me from doing so many things, seeing so many people and going so many places. I can barley climb one flight of stairs, let alone hike a trail. I have half a dozen pair of beautiful shoes that I don’t wear because I cannot reach the ankle strap to buckle them. They are in my closet, waiting for me to surrender this battle so I can fight it.

More later,
Billie