As I was getting ready to leave work tonight, I received a call from a colleague I had not spoken with for over a year. We finished our business discussion and somehow got on to my transition. We talked for over an hour as I shared history, stories and feelings. When we hung up, I was smiling; in telling my story, I was reminded just how blessed I am.
I was blessed when my sister said to me, "I finally have the big sister I've always wanted." She was the first family member I told. I was blessed when my two brothers said, "You go bro...er dude...er gal...er Sis...you know what we mean!" I was blessed when my Mother gave me a place to stay after my spouse asked me to leave. I am still staying at her place which has trapped her in Des Moines for two very bad winters. I was also blessed by my friend, a former pastor, who responded to my announcement by saying, "First, you need to know that you are and always shall be my friend."
I was particularly blessed by my three children. They didn't know it at the time, but they held within their hearts the power to stop me in my tracks. Now that I was out, the consequences of not transitioning were too dark to contemplate. But the consequences of never seeing my children again were darker still. Thankfully, that was a choice I never faced. All three said the same thing, "Do what you need to do to be true to yourself. You will always be our Dad, we will always love you." And so they have.
My transition has had its rough spots; the divorce was hard, some of my pre-Trans friends have not spoken to me since I came out and I have endured some complications from transition related surgery. Still, the surgery has healed and I am reconnecting with other old friends that despite being stunned by my announcement, are managing to put that behind them even if they don't fully understand what I am doing.
The trials are not over, but neither are the blessings. The trials don't last, the blessings do; especially the blessing of waking up every morning as Billie.
Take Care,
Billie
I was blessed when my sister said to me, "I finally have the big sister I've always wanted." She was the first family member I told. I was blessed when my two brothers said, "You go bro...er dude...er gal...er Sis...you know what we mean!" I was blessed when my Mother gave me a place to stay after my spouse asked me to leave. I am still staying at her place which has trapped her in Des Moines for two very bad winters. I was also blessed by my friend, a former pastor, who responded to my announcement by saying, "First, you need to know that you are and always shall be my friend."
I was particularly blessed by my three children. They didn't know it at the time, but they held within their hearts the power to stop me in my tracks. Now that I was out, the consequences of not transitioning were too dark to contemplate. But the consequences of never seeing my children again were darker still. Thankfully, that was a choice I never faced. All three said the same thing, "Do what you need to do to be true to yourself. You will always be our Dad, we will always love you." And so they have.
My transition has had its rough spots; the divorce was hard, some of my pre-Trans friends have not spoken to me since I came out and I have endured some complications from transition related surgery. Still, the surgery has healed and I am reconnecting with other old friends that despite being stunned by my announcement, are managing to put that behind them even if they don't fully understand what I am doing.
The trials are not over, but neither are the blessings. The trials don't last, the blessings do; especially the blessing of waking up every morning as Billie.
Take Care,
Billie
What a great post
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